Three Resolutions for 2017

I have a long history of making New Year's resolutions.  And if you're anything like me, they often go strong for a couple weeks, maybe even a couple of months, and then are slowly forgotten.  However, it is good to set goals.  And I want to set goals again this year, but in a different way.  My hope is to target more root issues, and find good evidences to confirm that I have been addressing those root issues.  I hope that this is an encouragement to you all, and I will probably have more thoughts on each of these things throughout the year.

1.  Live a healthier lifestyle
This is a broad goal.  But I needed to make it such, because in years past, my goal was simply to lose weight.  Some years, this failed miserably, and others, I nailed it.  But as I'm getting older, I'm realizing that I not only want to lose a few pounds, but I want to change my eating habits so that I can have more energy throughout the day, and wisely plan to live a longer life (if the Lord allows).  This starts with what's on my plate, but also extends to exercising.  How will I do this?

- I will not give in to the fear of missing out of a food item when I go to a restaurant, and tell someone what I plan to order in advance
- I will seek to live within my calorie limits on my fitness app every day
- I will workout no more than 5 times a week, and no more than 60 minutes each time
- I will remind myself of the Gospel when I fail
- I will remember that God is the creator of every good and perfect gift, including all food and beverages.

There's a lot in here, some of which I am going to expound upon in future posts.  But the point is this:  I've often found that my whole day revolves around how many calories I can eat.  So I would have wild swings in how much I worked out, often trying to run enough so that I could eat a huge burger at Red Robin with countless refills of fries.  There's nothing wrong with running, and nothing wrong with Red Robin's huge burgers... except for the fact that too many of them will clog your arteries!  Instead, I want to remember that God gives limits and boundaries to actually give freedom, and be thankful for those boundaries.  I also want to remember that even grilled chicken and vegetables are blessings from God, and if I'm honest with myself, I really like them even though I often would rather pick the burger and fries.

There's also a fear of missing out, which I just don't need to give into.  More on that later.

2.  Spend More Time Thinking Strategically
If I'm not doing something, I can often wrestle with guilt.  But when I don't plan ahead and think about what I should do, I really wrestle with overworking, and then I end up not getting the most important things done, and I burnout.  Both of those are not honoring to Christ!

So, I want to spend more time each week thinking about my priorities as a Christian, husband, father, missionary, and member of my church.  Some of the things I hope to implement are:

- Spend at least a half hour planning out the week on Monday.  Once a month, take an hour to think through the month, evaluate priorities and goals, and help course correct
- Be involved in a small group and sunday school at my home church
- Do not miss date night.  Ever.  (unless somethin... NO, EVER)
- Take at least one day off each week, and do something to rest and re-energize my soul, this includes not answering my phone, not checking e-mail, and reading books that are non-ministry related.

One caveat: Obviously, if there is an emergency, I will miss date night.  But, how often do you and I feel like something is an emergency when it clearly is not? 

3.   Choose to pursue Jesus through prayer and His Word regularly and frequently, rather than other comforts
As I look around me, I find myself more desperate and dependent on the Lord than ever.  Yet I often don't come to Him until I feel deeply overwhelmed.  I frequently choose comforts, yet still end up overwhelmed.  I want to find rest for my soul, and so I want to remind myself that there is no greater rest that to rest in the person of Christ.

- Wake up each morning with Heather and spend time praying the Psalms together
- Listen to scripture during morning workouts
- Use car time and walking time to pray, rather than to listen to music
- Pray for people, situations, world events, and circumstances as they come to mind.

I'll elaborate more in future posts as to why these three things, but I am hopeful that this is an encouragement to you all.  It's good to desire good, Godly change in areas of our life.  And the New Year is a good opportunity to "reset."  However, my hope can not be in changing in these three areas.  In fact, my only hope to change at all rests in the power of the Spirit that dwells so richly in me.  And that only comes from believing the Gospel, that Jesus died so I could live, and walk in newness of life.  My prayer is that, even more this year, that I would walk more deeply with Him in grace and truth.   Would He empower you to do that as well.

Happy 2017!



 

A Broken System

“You can't legislate the human heart” – Matt Chandler

It was the moment all college football fans had been waiting for. Who would get to be in the third annual college football playoff? Who would obtain the right to play for a national championship? The debate had raged for weeks on end, and one thing was very clear: there were more deserving teams than there were spots.

How do we determine the spots? Conference Championship? Record against top 25 teams? Overall record? Strength of schedule? The irony of it all was that, depending on who you rooted for, you could make a stellar case for your team, while poking holes in every other team's argument...except Alabama. As everything unfolded, I found myself realizing one of the struggles of all the arguments: they were too simplistic. You couldn't just argue for conference champions, because the system was designed to all ready leave one of them out. You couldn't just argue for overall record, because not everyone had a great schedule. And yet, most arguments included only pieces of the whole picture, which presented a problem because it was trying to bring simple objectivity to a system, and sport, that has been relegated to subjectivism. It's the only sport in which wins and losses aren't necessarily counted as simply wins and losses.

In some ways, it's a helpful picture of the laws we employ to reign in the human heart. A system is put in place to help us know what is the right thing to do. “Put the best four teams in!” Or, in the case of our laws, “Do what is right and good! Let people live in freedom!” And yet, we find ourselves often scrambling. In the case of the college football playoff, three years in and we still haven't escaped controversy. In the case of our government, we find ourselves constantly at war with one another about how to perfect the system. Why?

It's because legislating the human heart, while essential in our current world, is an ineffective way of changing it. And according to Jesus, we all need change. In fact, in Jesus' view, we need a complete overhaul.

And he called the people to him again and said to them, “Hear me, all of you, and understand: There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.” And when he had entered the house and left the people, his disciples asked him about the parable. And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.” (Mark 7:14-23)

We often look to the law to see how not to be bad. And as we look at the world around us, it occurs to us that something isn't right. “People are breaking the rules! People are dying! People are hurting! Maybe we need new rules!” Jesus says, “Listen, the rules don't tell us what not to do, they expose that what's in us is an innate desire of what not to do!” In this passage, they are concerned about food making them unclean. But Jesus is saying, “Look, the problem is not what you put inside you, but what is all ready residing in you. When you look at the law and find that you are breaking it, it's not what you have done that shows your evil, the law is merely proving that we have been evil the whole time."

It's not to say that we should do away with the law, Jesus doesn't. Rather he helps us see why we need it. It shows us our need for a savior, not a need for a law to show how good we are. The law was never intended to be a proving ground, but a mirror. When we use it as such, we make the law into a broken system that it was never meant to be.

College football's playoff system may never be perfect. However, the human heart can be. But not by the law. The heart can be healed and transformed by the God who sent Himself to die for His people. May we not give into the broken system of a saving law, but rather give ourselves to the saving one, Jesus Christ.

Grace, Restoration, and Eggplant Parmigiana

Over the past couple months I have found cooking therapeutic.  In fact, one of the things I've enjoyed the most has been using my electric smoker.  Ribs, pork shoulder, brisket, and wings have all been fun experiments.  I've enjoyed making pancakes for my kids more than usual, and I've enjoyed having folks over for the meals I cook.  But there was one meal I dared not try to make.

Eggplant parmigiana.  It's one of my favorite meals.  But I didn't want to make it.  At least, not since the house fire.  After all, that's what I was making when our kitchen caught fire.  I didn't want to deal with any of the fears or flashbacks.  "What if it happens again?" I thought.

God, however, thought it was time to face the fear.  I shared at a church presentation, and made an off hand comment about how I haven't cooked eggplant since.  A kind woman came up to me after the service remarking that it was such a shame that I wasn't making eggplant, since she had just picked 16 eggplants from her garden.

It might be silly, but I knew this was from the Lord.  I took two eggplants, went and got the same brand of sauce and fresh mozzarella that I was going to use the last time, and I took the plunge.   The  waves of fear and anxiety weren't as crippling.  The flashbacks (yes, they still came) didn't knock me off my feet as they once had.

It's a small picture of the restoration that's guaranteed by the grace of Christ.  The fire, while destructive, could not take away my hope for all time, because God is bigger.  He is better.  And He has proven that He will make all things new in the person of Christ.  I may have fears.  I may have new things that come in and disrupt my life.  But God will ultimately use those things to grow me more into His likeness, helping me to overcome fear with Christ-focused faith.  Eggplant parm, believe it or not, once felt like a noose that would suck the life from me.  Now?  It's a sign of remembrance.  The Lord was faithful to me and my family, and has continued to do so, bringing us closer to the finished product He has promised to make us.

The fear that once consumed, the anxiety that once crippled, is slowly subsiding.  Grace not only comforted me.  It also restored me. 

This is a picture of the effect of grace in the life of a believer.  Grace gives us the hope of salvation and forgiveness through faith in Christ.  But could you imagine if it stopped there?  Could you imagine if I was destined to a life of vicious flashbacks and never-ending fears only to be covered by a veiled band-aid of "Jesus loves you" with no hope of transformation?  Ephesians talks about this change throughout the letter.

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called..." (4:1)

"you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds."  (4:17)

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (5:1-2) 

The first three chapters of Ephesians are all about who we are because of Christ.  Chapter 4 starts a stirring call: Walk in the life God gave you.  Part of that is trusting that God does and will heal, as hard as it may be, as long as it takes.  I will not always be crippled by fear, weighed down by anxiety, or defeated by sin.  Instead, we as believers will be carried by grace to become the men and women that God had always intended us to be. 

It may be as simple, and silly, as getting to make eggplant parm once more.  It might be finally having the courage to share Christ rather than giving into fear.  It might be choosing to love someone, rather than let your insecurities get the better of you.  It might be, for right now, trusting that God will carry you through in the midst of grief and suffering that you just have no idea how to navigate.  Wherever you are, you can know for certain, God's grace will not just comfort you.  It will change and restore you, bringing us to our best state when we are with God in heaven. 

Why would you cut off your hand?

Imagine you contracted a deadly infection.  It started at your hand, and you had mere seconds to cut it off before it spread to the rest of your body, hollowing you out, killing you.  In World War Z, the character Segen is bitten on her hand by a zombie.  Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) immediately cuts off her hand, saving her life.  She was desperate, so Gerry did the unthinkable.  And while she no longer had a hand, she retained her life.
 
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says something that we often gloss over:  "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away." (Matthew 5:29)

One sentence later, He utters another extreme statement: "If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away." (Matthew 5:30)

His rationale?  "It is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell." (Matthew 5:30)

If you're just reading this, it's easy to gloss over the extreme measures that Jesus says we should go to to get rid of sin.  Get rid of your eye?  Your hand?  And for most, it probably would have been their dominant features.

Some of us might hear it and think, "Yes, I'm going to be more moral."  Others might think, "That's dumb."  Both sides miss the point.

Notice Jesus' rationale again.  It is better to lose one part of your body than to lose your whole body to hell.  He's using a metaphor here.  It begs the question, when would you cut off your hand?  When would you pluck out an eye?  Much like Gerry Lane helped with Segen, you would do it when it was the only way to save your life.

Jesus is comparing sin (particularly lust) to a disease or an infection similar to gangrene.  Gangrene infects one part of the body, and if you don't kill it before it spreads, it eventually kills you.  Sin does the same thing.  Sin is in our hearts.  And if we let it reign in our lives, it will eventually deaden our senses, deaden our morality, and will destroy our souls.  But if we kill it, our lives flourish, because we stop the infection.

But how can cutting off our dominant hand or our dominant eye, improve quality of life?  It improves it by saving it from sin and death, and the fires of hell.  It may be extreme, and it may hurt in the short-term.  But it proves profitable in the long run.

So what does it look like to kill sin?

First, look to the cross:  The way to a new heart is not changing your behavior.  It's by receiving a heart transplant.  The Gospel not only saves us from hell, but it transforms us because it replaces a heart of stone with a heart of flesh.

Second, observe where you are tempted:  There are certain videos on youtube that I just can't watch.  They aren't explicit.  They aren't sinful in and of themselves.  But they contain language and images that sometimes are unhelpful and tempt me towards the road of sin, and influence my thoughts.  I need to observe these and other times where I might be tempted, so that I can do the next step.

Third, make a plan, and fight:  So think about when you're tempted.  Confess those to someone you trust (probably helpful if it's someone who is the same gender, if it has to do with sexual sin).  And get specific.  Download a filter, get rid of your app store, disable social media if you have too.  Refuse to watch movies with specific language or content (IMDB's parental guide is a great resource!).  Cut off anything that might lead to sin.

Fourth, see how God gives you life, and praise Him:  It's amazing, that when you stop lusting, you can start loving.  You can see people as souls, instead of objects.  You can praise Him for His design of life, and people, and attraction, and love.  Killing sin will be painful at first.  How could it not, if it's as extreme as cutting off a limb?  But it's so we might find more joy in God, and in His creation. 

The Maturity of those who Mourn

Back in high school, I was at a memorial service for the son of one of my former principals.  The officiant, I believe he was a rabbi, began to ask for good memories of the son, when the father's voice bellowed, "My son is dead, I don't need good memories." 

Pain and suffering often come, and our knee jerk reaction is to try and fix it.  As I've gone through the fire, people have given me the "silver lining" constantly. 

"At least your family wasn't hurt."

"At least you'll get a new kitchen."

"Be thankful for what you do have."

All of those things are true.  And I think, at times, those words were helpful.  But more often than not, I hated them.  It felt like an inconsequential, "look on the bright side," when all I could feel was sadness and frustration.  I wanted to weep, and I wanted to be wept with.

As I look at my own life, and how I've responded to those who suffer and are in pain, I wonder how frequently I've done the same to others.  It makes me wonder why I seek to fix the pain and cheer people up.  I can't begin to understand the hearts of others, but I can certainly discern my own.  And, if I'm honest with myself, I think I don't weep with others because it's too uncomfortable.  I want to escape the pain of weeping, so fixing it becomes the better option.  And if I fix the problem, not only do I not have to weep, I can pat myself on the back for being a good person! 

However, Jesus, the perfect and most mature man to ever walk the earth, knew that humans were more complex than that.  He would know after all, He was with God the Father in our original design.  In John 11 we see a captivating scene.  Jesus receives word that his friend Lazarus is sick.  Instead of going to him immediately, he stays an extra two days.  The text even says that Lazarus' illness was for the sake of God's glory, which means his delay was intentional so that God would be praised.

So, Lazarus dies.  Jesus then finally comes to raise him from the dead, four days after his death.   Martha meets him first, and Jesus tells her truth, that He is the resurrection and the life.  He shares what's true.  However, He doesn't do the same with Mary.  He gets to her and asks where Lazarus has been laid.  And when he goes to see the tomb, he weeps!  Jesus, the God of the universe, the one who knowingly let Lazarus die just so he could raise him from the dead so that he might be glorified, weeps!  Why? 

Tim Keller says it this way: "To show that He was a perfect man."  Keller added this afterwards, "In this we see that the most mature are those who weep, and those who weep with others."

This profoundly changes my understanding in how I love those who suffer.  While Jesus ultimately "fixes" the situation (which, He is the only one who really can when it comes to death), He doesn't neglect grief or mourning.  He enters into it.  He feels the anguish and agony.  Even when He knows the truth.  Even when He has the power to fix everything. 

May this be an example to those of us who don't have that power.

If I've learned anything through grief, it's that the most valuable and beautiful times are not when someone just tells me that good times are ahead, to be thankful for something, or anything else like that.  It's when someone has chosen to get into the pit with me, listen, and mourn.  It's then that I am far more open to truth and grace, because someone has manifested it in how they've approached me.

But, praise God, because even in our most imperfect attempts to love, there is a savior who embodied love to us.  He didn't just weep, but He went to the grave.  Even when we are loved imperfectly, we have a perfect lover who stands with us, and a perfect redeemer empowering us to become like Him to those who mourn.