So I went to wash it out, and of course, more pain. My immediate thought was, "How can I get this to hurt the least."
We hate pain. I hate the slight headaches (or migraines) that cause distraction and annoyance. I hate the emotional pain attached to a rude comment. And I hate the pain of loss, of trauma, and of sorrow.
And yet, so often life throws painfully sad moments our way. The fire has been no exception of painful, sad moments. And I often respond by wanting to escape the pain. I drown my sorrows in escapism. I plug into my music and slip into daydreaming, wanting to stop reliving the horrors in my mind. I eat my sorrows away trying to avoid thinking about it again. I long for people to love me, only to often see them not know how to care for me.
I hate pain. I hate being sad. I hate feeling hopeless and helpless.
That's when I try to apply a band-aid: be happy by remembering God's Word! It's good to remember God's Word, and the Gospel. But even in the midst of trying to look at something good, I do it only because I don't want to feel sad. I don't want the pain. I don't want to believe I'm living in a fallen world, one that offers brokenness and sorrow. I don't want to believe that my house, MY House could be so insecure. Just give me a psalm to make me feel better.
It's why John 11 is so helpful.
Jesus and his disciples were traveling to see Lazarus. He had been dead for four days, and Jesus knew He was going to raise him back to life. He was confident in His power and His authority. He was going to have his friend back, and make his other friends, Martha and Mary, very happy to see their brother alive again.
That's what makes verses 33-35 so compelling:
"When Jesus saw her (Mary) weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept."
What? Jesus knows that everything is going to be better, so why is He greatly troubled? Why is His Spirit deeply moved? Why does He weep?
I think it's because while He knows that He will make all things new, the pain of brokenness, sin, and death is so severe. In a world, and even a Christian Culture, that says get over your suffering, Jesus the Redeemer weeps and approves our weeping through His own. When we are tempted to bristle at our pain, to escape it through sin, or put a band-aid on it with happy verses, Jesus says, "don't you dare... I want your tears, your sorrows, and your heartbreak. I want to hear from you. I am with you in it."